Memoirs of a Nanny

I am now officially a retired nanny. A retarded nanny? Dude, no. But right now I'm retired! So weird to wrap my brain around this... For the past 10 months, I have taken the 15 minute drive to the Shea's house 4 days a week to watch the boys for 9 hours a day. And now, after today, I never have to do that again. 

It's crazy, really. I was like, "Welp, now that high school is over, am I just gonna work at Det's? Oh what's that mom, Kristin needs a nanny from August-June? Sure. I'll do it!"

Just like that, I had a job for the next ten months. I'm not sure what I was really expecting, but now that it's over I can say it was an experience of a lifetime, forizzle. Lots of ups and downs, pros and cons. But here's 20 things I learned:

{1} I maybe am one of the only kids that didn't know the 'f-word' until middle school.
{2} Wiping butts with poop in them isn't so bad after gagging the first couple times.
{3} Little kids like milk, and will drink it all day.
{4} Little kids like to talk loud, and as close up to your face as they can get.
{5} When little kids talk loudly, and close to your face, you will most likely receive some saliva on your face. Don't worry, it won't kill ya.
{6} "Butter, butter, butter, butter, butter a%$!" coming from a 3 year old as an insult is impossible not to laugh at.
{7} Watching two boys ages 3 & 5 play with chickens can be VERY entertaining... poor chickens...
{8} Mac n' cheese is kind of a big deal. Especially the cheesy shells kind.
{9} Nap time IS possible. All you have to do is lay down with them and keep repeating, "just close your eyes, just close your eyes" while rubbing their backs until they're out! 
{10} Nap time means, "this is the time you have to try to get anything that needs to be done, done."
{11} When you see a person that could easily spark unnecessary interest in a 3 or 5 year old, quickly try to direct their attention to something else. (e.i. The VERY small woman at the beach. Didn't direct their attention away quickly enough, and they proceeded to follow her around, yelling back to me, "Wook at dis wittle wady! How did she get so wittle? Is she a mom? Why is she walking like this!?!" Not embarrassing, at all).
{12} Buy a fake engagement ring and wedding band for cheap at Old Navy. When you're out with the boys, wear both on your left hand ring finger, to avoid demeaning stares from strangers at the "irresponsible teen mom."
{13} Seagulls (also known as "EAGLES!!! AHHH!!!") are the enemy and we must NEVER eat our food in front of them, or being haunted for life is a definite possibility.
{14} Little boys can be so sweet when they want to be. So sweet. Especially their hugs.
{15} "Umm, umm, ummmm, um. Nevermind. I wuv you Banessa." Can make your day, any day. 
{16} The ladies at the preschool don't get angry when the three year old screams, "DON'T WOOK AT ME!!!!!" day after day. They just laugh. 
{17} Time out happens. Sometimes 8 times a day. 
{18} Listen to a Veggie Tales CD for 3 months straight. I guarantee you will know EVERY. SINGLE. WORD. 
{19} Hearing little boys recite Joshua 1:9, "Be strong and courageous" in their cute little voices never gets old. 
{20} Little boys grow on you. Before you know it, your ten months is up, it's back to fruit & veggies you go, and you'll miss them more than you could ever imagine. 

So it goes, back to Detwilers. I have definitely enjoyed the nannying season in my life, and I don't think I'm done for good. And one day I hope to have little ones of my own to love on and learn from.  But for now, I'm gonna be missing these two. 

Case man & Ri pie, I will always remember my time with you two. I love you more than you know, and probably more than you thought I did :) (The time outs were necessary, I promise!)
I meant to post this whole thing last night but the internet went a lil crazy. So now it's my first post of June! Happy June!
Here comes the weekend........
I've got a cousins wedding to attend that i'm pretty stoked about! I am also going to write a bucket list... of all of the things I want to do in Sarasota from June 1st until I leave for Australia. That's my time frame. Do you have any ideas?? Once I get the list together, I'll be sure to post it! 

Have a great weekend! 

xoxo Vanes.

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